Friday, May 11, 2012


When Comrade Obama comes to town those of us deemed Class III (threat to the presidency) will receive a visit from the U.S. Secret Service.  In my case, America’s Praetorian Guard will request even more – they want to keep “eyeballs” on me while The One is in town.  I should note the American SS has no legal authority to invade my privacy: The agents are moved against me like chess pieces on the express orders of the senior chess master in Washington, D.C. When called to account for their actions, the best excuse the pawns can come up with is The Nazi Alibi, “I am only following orders.”

I can relate many unpleasant events that happened to me on the days when a president came to town. One of the most intense occurred in Orlando, Florida in the spring of 2007. At that time I worked as a counselor/driver/office worker at Central Care Mission (CCM), a Christian drug rehab that focused on getting addicted men back on their feet. On this particular afternoon I was dispatched to pick up some of our clients at a construction site at Disney World and transport them back to CCM. I should note that our institution was located in a high crime area where car jackings were not that uncommon, so when a black SUV with tinted glass pulled up inches from my rear bumper at a stop sign, my first thought was that I was about to be the victim of a felony. 

Since I’m not one to willingly yield to illegal force, I did a quick “California Stop” and went pedal to metal in an attempt to lose the tail in the residential neighborhood where CCM was located. The black SUV floored it as well; however, with my superior knowledge of the maze of streets in this area of Orlando, I quickly lost my “Love Bug” and gained access to I-4.  After slowing to the posted speed limit and getting my pulse rate back to normal, I patted myself mentally on the back for being a “Steve McQueen” type of fast, safe and evasive urban driver like he portrayed in the classic movie“Bullitt.”

I picked up my quota of CCM clients at the Disney World construction project at Animal Kingdom and started the drive back, while sharing my tale of “escape and evasion” from a criminal act that at best would leave my head bloody and at worst the theft of the organization’s newest work van. One of my passengers noted that a helicopter with Orange County Sheriff’s markings seemed to be following us along I-4 just before we reached the John Young Parkway exit that was near CCM. I joked that they were very likely looking for bank robbers making an escape from law enforcement. 

When we arrived back at CCM, I noticed several police cars in the parking lot and several police officers in SWAT gear looking at the white Ford mini-van I was driving. The officers were silent as the half dozen clients walked passed them, but an Orange County Sheriff’s Deputy motioned me over and started a conversation that went something like this:

Deputy: “Why did you run from the Secret Service?”

Me: “I didn't run from the SS, but I did run from a black SUV with tinted glass.  I thought I was about to be car jacked. This is a high crime area, you know.”

Deputy: “The president was in town today, so they were watching you.”

Me: “I didn’t get the memo.”

Deputy: “It was on the news several times about his visit, and you knew the Secret Service would be watching you all day.”

Me: “I don’t watch the news – it’s mostly Leftist propaganda.”

Deputy: “The point is that you were speeding in a reckless manner at high speed in a residential area.”

Me: “And so were the SS agents in the black van…Why don’t you give both drivers a ticket?”

Deputy: “I didn’t see it.”

Me: “The Orange County Sheriff’s Department doesn’t see much – for instance, the harassment, stalking and endangerment of law abiding citizens such as myself. Did the SS agents have a warrant for my arrest? Did they have Probable cause that I was engaged in a crime? Did they even say anything to OCSD before the event?”

Deputy: “There could have been children in the street playing…”

Me: “The kids don’t play in the streets in this neighborhood; remember this is the ghetto of Orlando. What’s this?"

Deputy:  “A ticket for having your old address on your driver’s license...The fine is 100 dollars."

Me: “Did you check the SS agent’s drivers license to see if it was valid and giving him your famous lecture about reckless driving with kids around?"

Deputy:  (putting away his ticket book) “I guess it’s like going fishing, you can’t catch them all.”

Me: “I think it’s more like Orwell said in ANIMAL FARM: All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.”

But I digress..

I spent the day in Tacoma. 

I used public transportation.

I had a wonderful time.