Saturday, September 10, 2011



Once again it is was a pleasure to meet and chat with you in beautiful downtown Seattle at a Starbucks in the financial district. I noticed on the way to our meeting it was a clear, blue September day with a near perfect temperature in the usually overcast and rainy Gateway To Alaska and the Far East. I noticed the people on the street were well dressed and looked like as if they'd never missed a meal or a laundry day. I couldn't help but wonder how much longer this would be the case, what with the country on the fast track to economic collapse and civil war in the not too distant future.

I arrived early as usual at the Starbucks in the lobby of a bank building and hit the queue for a cup of Starbuck's finest brew standing patiently in a long line of fellow suckers willing to pay four or five dollars for a cuppa of something I could enjoy at home for pennies a hit after buying the same coffee by the can priced at four or five dollars this week at Walmart. I can't speak for others who surround me drinking Starbuck's finest while pounding on their laptop keyboards looking all serious and business dressed-for-the-day, but I suspect more than a few are checking the price of gold and wondering where to flee when the federal government goes completely Communist and decides to shoot the bankers as traitors, while the majority want the boss to see them on the job early, pounding on the computer with a cup of coffee at one side and a copy of the Wall Street Journal on the other.

I'm only seated for a few minutes when G-Man of the United States Secret Service walks in, scans the room quickly, sees me and smiles, making a zig zag in the crowded room for my table in the rear with an energy drink in hand. G-Man is dressed in his typical expensive label intensive sports clothes purchased at stores where casual shirts go for around $100 (with a federal civil service level of GS-13, Step 7 which means pay and perks above $100,000, the G-Man can afford the best) - whereas, I'm dressed in old, casual and very cheap Malmart duds that sold for ten bucks a pop when new.

When the G-Man is seated, I think, as I often do, if the dull banker people around us are aware that G-Man that he is Top Dog in this Starbucks complete with a badge, gun and the ability to arrest anyone present and frog march them to the nearest AUSA. More importantly, he could pull out his weapon and shoot me right between the eyes and cover his crime by saying in the Official Report:

Ronbo made a suspicious move! We have been watching him for years as a Class III Presidential Assassin. I spotted him at this near my office here in downtown. When I approached him to do a field interview - that is fully authorized by the law - he became verbally abusive and made a sudden movement with his right hand to his left pants pocket. I should add at this point, the Secret Service has good reason to believe Ronbo is armed and carries a small Colt .45 Commander Series automatic pistol loaded with "cop killer" hollow point bullets. Therefore, when I saw a black object being pulled from Ronbo's left pocket (How was I do know it was his Walkman that he apparently attempted to turn off, although the headset on his ears should have tipped me off), I pulled my service pistol and shot him by accident between the eyes instead of center of the chest, as my training advocates. The truth is at that point I feared for my life and numerous lives of the public around us if a convicted assassin should open fire in a crowded public only two days before 9/11. I deeply regret the untimely death of Ronbo, and as a devout Christian I pray for his soul. May he find eternal rest in his Heavenly Mansion provided by our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ! I have deep sorrow as well for the Wells Fargo banker seated in the table who died of a heart attack due to the loud report of my weapon and the many non-life threatening injuries that occurred in the panic rush to the door that erupted when a woman with part of Ronbo's brain smeared on her neat black business dress yelled, 'He just murdered that poor man in cold blood and he means to kill us all!!!' I have profound sorrow that downtown Seattle was shutdown for the rest of the day, as this serious incident was sorted out by Seattle law enforcement."
However, "Murder In Seattle" is not on the G-Man's agenda, but just to be on the safe side I offer him my naked right hand and keep the left hand on to of the table in his view. I've noticed the SS gets very nervous when I have my little "pickers and stealers" out of sight or in my pockets.

The dialogue went something like this:

G-Man: How are you?

Ronbo: Good in that I'm not over-good. On Fortune's Cap, I'm not the very button."

G-Man: Huh?

Ronbo: "The lines are from Hamlet by Shakespeare to Rosencrantz, or was it Guidenstern. I always got those two mixed up in the play. I think it's just a English 16th century way of saying 'I feel average: neither up or down.'

G-Man: Do you see yourself as Hamlet?

Ronbo: Do you see yourself as Rosencrantz or Guildenstern? In the play they were an early Danish version of the U.S. Secret Service charged with spying on Hamlet for the King Claudius and protecting him. I'm sad to report they come to a bad end in England where they get their heads chopped off. But I suppose they went to their Maker happy in the knowledge that they died for King and Country.

G-Man: (taking a sip of energy drink and smiles a sly smile) Did your mother ever tell you not to answer a question with a question?

Ronbo: Did your mother tell you to join the SS? I can just just hear it now being told at six years old, 'Little Johnny, when you grow up, mommy wants you to be an SS agent and your oppress Americans. Mommy just hates people!'

G-Man: We don't oppress the American People, we serve them.

Ronbo: You oppress me. I'm part of the American People. What is done to one citizen of the Republic is done to all citizens.

G-Man: You volunteer to talk with me.

Ronbo: Yes, but if I don't 'talk' to the SS, I soon discover city cops and county mounties stopping me several times a day telling me to call the SS. I'm not a volunteer in any sense of the word, so don't play this old song about free speech. No, this is oppression straight up that is not sanctioned under the law which is the U.S. Constitution.

G-Man: If you feel that way, then stop talking to me.

Ronbo: But Hamlet always talked to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern...

G-Man (growing passionate): Shakespeare again...This is not a play about Denmark . This is real life in America and you're not making much sense.

Ronbo: Many Americans think the federal government isn't making much sense these days, as it seems bent on destroying its own economy and becoming a tyranny.